do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
