I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
