i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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