this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
