Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
