I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
