Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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