guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
