did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
