He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize