so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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