is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
