'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
