I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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