We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
