VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Randomize
