Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
