we have pet lesbian snakes
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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