We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
