Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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