Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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