I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
