So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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