Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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