don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
