GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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