That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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