i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
