hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
