Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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