I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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