So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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