what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
