i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
