That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
