Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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