Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
