Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Randomize