I wish I could punch you in the face.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
