you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
