You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
