apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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