also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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