haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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