Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
organizing the empties. That sober.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have fence marks all over my body
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
