i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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