She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
not ubering you a puppy
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
