put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
