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i barfeds in our rink
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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