How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
