you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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