When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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