Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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