did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
