So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
