dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
